Part 2: Back to the Hospital

We reached the hospital and were brought back to the Emergency room where the physician we had seen all morning long was still on duty. He was a fabulous Doctor, we really liked him and trusted him. He had Hailee's best interests at heart. He immediately told us that a spinal tap was needed. Because of her strange body movements and the fear of seizure, he also started some medications to help with that. Hailee was very out of it and I ..... was a complete mess. My heart was racing, I could not focus. I could not sit still. I was pacing and pacing and could not even manage to be in the room when the spinal tap was being done. Chad, the brave soul, sat right with her the entire time. I, however having just witnessed (which I had not yet told Chad) in the car with God and Jesus being present with Hailee, was visibly terrified. I was in full-on panic mode.

The spinal tap immediately revealed a problem. It was cloudy, which was not a good sign. Dr. Moen told us that she either had meningitis or encephalitis at this point and began to prepare to have her transferred to Children's Hospital in St. Paul. I made phone calls to our family and close friends and we waited for an ambulance to take her. It seemed like it took a lifetime. At one point, Dr. Moen had told us that Children's Hospital had no beds available and that we would be going to the U of M. Shortly after, Children's did have a bed open up. All these years, I wonder what would have happened had we gone to the U of M.... but I will save that for a later post.

The ambulance did finally arrive and we prepared to leave. Dr. Moen had given the order to keep her calm using ativan and also had began running powerful antibiotics while we waited for the ambulance. He also began anti-virals because at this point it was unclear if it was viral or bacterial. He sent along the prepared bag of the the most powerful antibiotic ready to go for Children's to administer. They sent it with the paramedic. It was Vancomycin.

We decided that I would ride down in the ambulance with Hailee and Chad would follow in our car. I rode in the front with the driver while Hailee was on a stretcher in the back being monitored by the paramedic all the way down. I felt a sense of relief because we did not go lights and sirens. It made me feel like she was stable and that things might be okay.... but I still had that nagging feeling that would not go away.

We entered through the ambulance dock at Children's and were brought to a room. I felt like we would get there and she would be directly admitted to PICU, which is what Dr. Moen had intended, but we had to go through their emergency room process. That was frustrating. Hailee at this point was in and out of semi-alert states, but could not communicate more than a word or two. She was restless at times, in pain and she looked terrified. We mirrored each other on the terrified part. Chad and I started to notice that Hailee's posture was changing, her one leg was posturing in a strange way. The ER physician noted that too. The details are a little foggy for me but I am pretty sure one of the first things that was done was a CT scan. That was awful. Hailee's movements were kind of erratic so it took some time to get it done. Another goal was for them to start another IV in her other arm which would be a dedicated line for seizure management. That process was exasperating. To this day I still am angry that it took the ER nurse as long as it did to start an IV on a child who was now quietly resting, fully hydrated with fluids from the entire day. It was maddening. She ended up having to get help. We were then waiting, asking and waiting for the seizure medication to be delivered from the pharmacy, along with another bag of the Vancomycin as Children's Hospital would not accept the bag that Dr. Moen had prepared and sent with paramedics. Meanwhile, lab and xray were in and out, doing their tests. The ER doctor assured us that kids get as sick as Hailee was and recover. As a side note, I also broke my flip flop at some point so was walking around hobbling with a broken shoe, but I didn't care. Strange what comes back to mind sometimes. At one point, a technician came in to perform an EKG on Hailee. Just as she was about to start the test, Hailee sat up on the gurney and had the most horrible look on her face. She started to vomit. Chad and I stood by her side with the emesis basin and told her it was okay, that we were right there. Once the retching stopped, Hailee went into a full on Grand Mal seizure. It was by far the most horrible thing I had ever seen. Chad ran out of the room and into the hall and began screaming for someone to help her. (I won't type here what he said as it had some expletives in it). We had about 5 doctors in the room in seconds and low and behold the seizure medicine arrived at this point. To say the least, we were mad.

Family had begun to arrive at the hospital to include my Mom and Dad and Sisters, my Grandma (Meme) and aunts and uncles. Chad's Dad and Sue arrived during this time as well. Hailee was very, very sick. That is what we knew. As soon as they were done treating Hailee following the major seizure, the ER Director of Medicine spoke with us. They were moving Hailee to their trauma room to further stabilize her. They needed to insert a breathing tube to protect her airway. Her heart rate was very high, her fever was close to 107 degrees. The were planning to start a central line IV (in her neck) and insert a catheter with an internal thermometer. They were putting Hailee in a drug-induced coma. They were also putting her in a bed of ice. Her clothes were cut off of her and she was laying in the trauma room, exposed. It was so hard. So hard.

I went to the waiting room to update the family. Then I sat down in the middle of the hallway with my back against a wall and started to consider everything that had happened. I let my mind linger back to my conversation earlier in the day in the car. The one about God and Jesus and more panic set in. I told my mother-in-law Sue that I thought Hailee would die. I said "What if she dies? What will we do if she dies?" Sue comforted me the best she could, saying no... they will save her. She will be okay. My heart wanted so badly to believe it, but it was telling me something different.

I made another few phone calls. One to my best friend Leah, who was arriving at her cabin for the weekend in Otter Tail, MN. The other was to Chad's Mom and Paul. They live near Mille Lacs. I filled Bonnie in on what we knew. I also talked to Paul and told him they needed to head down. Paul said he would have everything ready for when Bonnie got off work and they would head down. Leah also was getting back in the car and heading to us at the hospital, but it was a three-hour drive.

Chad and I took a moment to go outside and breathe. However, the heat was sickening. It was so damn hot out, even though it was well in to the evening hours. We shared a prayer and it is here that I told him what Hailee had said in the car. We just prayed for her to be okay. We checked in with the boys here and there, they were fine at home after having played football earlier in the day. We did not let on how critical her condition was, just that she was very sick, but that the doctors kept telling us she would be okay.

Another CAT scan was ordered and once again did not show any changes, which meant they were not seeing swelling at that point. Hailee was being transferred up to the PICU for management of her care. Pediatric neurology was becoming involved. Off we went to a new team of people caring for Hailee. It was surreal. After we got to the waiting room off of the PICU and we had waited quite a while, we did talk to the internist in charge of her care. He told us that Hailee is critically ill. He updated us on everything that had taken place. The placement of the central line in her neck, the EEG machine that had been added to monitor for seizure activity (as she was now in a coma and we were unable to visualize if she was having seizures) and measures that were being taken to try to control her very high fever. He told us at this point that he believed that Hailee would survive, but that she would need a lot of therapy and time to recover. He said we may be taking home a different type of child than what we brought in and that there may be some damage that would be ongoing. To hear this news was like music to my ears, because I didn't think we were even going to take her home at all! Even though every single doctor told us that she would be okay, as a mother.... I still had that feeling in my gut. It was going to be a long night.......

More to come.....

Heidi LaMeyer